thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Saturday, October 2, 2010 ; at 6:44 AM
i went back looking at my old posts. fucking funny.
i realized that i just want attention thats why i wrote alot of emo shits.
realized that i tried to be alot of Kevin , magician, composer, singer, beatboxer?
also found out that i always like to lanc people on what i'm good at.
and also copied my brother a lot.
but here's the reality.
i can never be them. i can only be me myself , Kevin
i can never be my bro. hmmm. really take him as my idol ba.
nah~ its okay :D
well, today's our 1st year anniversary!
hope she loves what i did x)
I LOVE YOU TIFFANY CHUA ! :D
muacks muacks muacks muacks muacks ! ~
- always ur boy boy -
-fusion of black&white
6:44 AM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Monday, September 13, 2010 ; at 7:01 AM
found out that Kah Yee has a blog from facebook and decided to click her link to her blog xD its a nice blog. found out a story which is quite touching.. ><'' here you go =)
I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him.
And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl.
Jin, do you want to go watch a movie? I asked.
Jin "I can't"
Why? You need to study at home?I felt disappointment grabbing me.
No I am going to meet a friend
He was always like that.
He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word "love" only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say "I love you" before.
To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all.
He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days,200 days. Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why. Then one day...
Me Um, Jin, I...
Jin What?don't drag, just say..
Me I love you.
Jin you...um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my three words and handed me the doll.
Then he disappeared, like he was running away.
The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many...
Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.
But ...lunch passed, dinner passed...and soon the sky was dark he still didn't call.
It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore.
Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me Jin...
Jin Here...take this...
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me What's this?
Jin I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, bye.
Me Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. when I shouted..."Wait..."
Jin You have something to say?
Me Tell me, tell me you love me...
Jin What?!
Me Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
"I don't want to say that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else." That was what he said. Then he ran off.
My legs felt numb...and I collapsed to the ground. He didn't want to say it easily...How could he!.
I felt that... Maybe he is not the right guy for me...
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house.
That's how those dolls piled up in my room... everyday
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street...with another girl...
He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...as he touched the doll... I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell... Why did he gave these to me??
Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls. In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.
Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that it's going to end.
Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual
Me I don't need it.
Jin What?.why?
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
"I'm sorry..." He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll...
Me You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.
Then...
Honk Honk
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
"Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted....
But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
"Jin, move!"
HONK!!
*Boom!* That sound, so terrifying.
That's how he went away from me.
That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him.
And after spending two months like a crazy person
I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out.I
remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days- when we were in love..
"One...two... three..."
That was how I started to count the dolls...
"Four hundred and eighty four... four hundred and eighty five..."
It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.
I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...
"I love you, I love you"
I dropped the dolls,shocked.
"I...lo..ve..you??"
I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
"I love you I love you"
It can"t be!
I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side.
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
Those words came out non-stop.
"I love you"
Why didn't I realize that???.
That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.
Why didn't I realize that he love me this much...
I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach, that was the last doll,
the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it.
The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much....
"Jo...Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is?
I couldn't say I love you..... Um... since I was too shy. If you forgive me and take this doll,
I will say that I love you.. Everyday...till I die.. Jo... I love you!"
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked
god, why do I only know about all this now?
He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute.
For that.. and for that reason... to me..... it became courage... to live a beautiful life...well. everyone has different ways to love someone. most importantly. accept for who they are.. dont ask them to change themselves but ask teach them to appreciate and considerate.. thats important! omg. why am i giving values of life xD
nothing to update xD just wanna share a story with you all =)
-fusion of black&white
7:01 AM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Friday, September 10, 2010 ; at 6:50 PM
well, just a blink of eyes we've been together for almost 12 months le.! well~ hope Tiffany Bii likes what I did for her x) well. never did that much for a girl so much yet i dont feel bored or even annoyed x) just because i love her.. everything i did for you, just to see a smile on your face makes me feel satisfied or can I say, feel alive. Will always love you. Best thing in my life is to be with you x)
well of course,12 months together? this means that my trials are approaching and of course, The Almighty SPM. lol. well, everything's too soon !! i wanna go back to January T_____T I'm not done enjoying my high school live T___T everything's gonna change if i go to college or just straight to work ..
p/s:
well, baby always think that my life's gonna change alot when i graduate. well, most of it will, but make sure u read this sentence several times ----> my love to you will never change x)Gonna go midvalley for Resident Evil. Have fun everyone.
gah..! seriously, my blog is so dead =.=
Kevin
-fusion of black&white
6:50 PM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Tuesday, August 10, 2010 ; Carbon Fibres =.= at 12:36 AM
HAHAHAAH ! yesterday at tuition, saw Mr.Adam buying this sticker that looks like carbon fibre but actually its just a piece of sticker. today i skipped school just to buy this sticker xD JUST JOKING x) studied till 2a.m yesterday so didnt had the spirit to wake up and walk to school. plus there's this lecture for english. for erm. 5 hours? i'll get crazy in the library.!! so i woke up at 10. took my breakfast. did some revision. made a magic gimmick. then walked to this Stationary Shop, 'CopyArt'. then bought two piece of 'carbon fibre' stickers ! Came home. then start pimping my gadgets xD first i tried this sticker on this noob, cracked iPhone cover =x
here you go ! my first attempt xD looks like real carbon fibre cover aye? there's no cracks either after sticking it xD sweet !!
then my psp's turn xD just sticked it for the sake of protecting the back of the psp from scratches and stuffs xD
last i sticked on the back of my iPod nano xD now its safe from scratches! and i think its even waterproof :D yeah.
to tell u da truth. its not easy sticking all this stuffs. it needs patience and skills xD i've got da skills ! anyone who's interested in sticking this carbon fibres can contact me at my blog or PM me at facebook :D i'll charge u depending on the size of ur phone , psp etc etc !
have fun !
-fusion of black&white
12:36 AM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Sunday, July 18, 2010 ; ♥ Written by Tiffany Chua, Ordered by Kevin Lim :) at 2:07 AM
I Love You Forever :) , Baby Girl TIFFANY CHUA
I love my baby darling forever :) Teehee ♥ :DDD Muacks !
Labels: :)
-fusion of black&white
2:07 AM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Thursday, July 8, 2010 ; at 10:54 PM
worst day of my life. yesterday?
dont feel like talking or thinking bout it cause its gonna make me tear.
It's my fault. not yours. no one to blame.
daddy mummy gor gor jie jie. i'm sorry.
i'm gonna try. sorry
bie. not ur fault too. lets just try harder (:
let the past be the past ba ! move on (:
-fusion of black&white
10:54 PM
thy rutted music, filled with sync;
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 ; at 2:01 AM
Today? Wasn't a good day also I suppose.
'
明天會更好'. This Quote? I've always been believing it. Always told people to believe it.
And I still do. Please tell me tomorrow will be a better day.
Rain? Can u go away? It's because of you everyone seem to be gloomy. and even moody..
Kevin. Signs off
-fusion of black&white
2:01 AM
well, just a blink of eyes we've been together for almost 12 months le.! well~ hope Tiffany Bii likes what I did for her x) well. never did that much for a girl so much yet i dont feel bored or even annoyed x) just because i love her.. everything i did for you, just to see a smile on your face makes me feel satisfied or can I say, feel alive. Will always love you. Best thing in my life is to be with you x)
